OK, I realise I'm behind on this

[hnpcc]

But I'm linking so I can find it again because it's making me laugh so much.

The world's worst Harry Potter fanfic, a breakdown thereof.

To quote:

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).
—My Immortal's first sentence (Ignoring the Author's Note). It Got Worse after that.

For some reason it's the apostrophe in "Darkness" that's cracking me up the most. It's... so wannabe.

And again:

What this fic does have, however, is sex, torture, rape, time travel (Marty McFly makes an inexplicable cameo), guns, goth concerts, ludicrous and confusing nicknames, dramatic entrances, tears of blood, wrist-cutting, homo-/bisexuality, and clothing descriptions worthy of American Psycho. This is not to mention the OOC drama, ranging from Tara's constant interaction with her incensed reviewers, the rocky relationship between Tara and her best friend, Raven, as well as some back-and-forth between Tara and a mysterious "hacker." The constant spelling mistakes don't help the reader's understanding either. The story may or may not be the work of a Troll. If she is a troll, she's an incredibly skilled, determined, and realistic one. If not, then weep for humanity's future. WEEP.

To sum it up:

As you can see, this might just be the worst best worst best most polarizing fanfiction ever written for Harry Potter, or anything else.

It's terrible, and yet strangely addictive. Oh and hysterically funny.

Comments

[davesangel.livejournal.com]

Oh my god...that was unbelievable. Is this for real? Or is someone just taking the piss, because the spelling mistakes (and everything else) were unbelievable! Totally hilarious though, thank you so much for posting this! :D

The bit that stuck out in my mind most was that Loopin (Lupin) and Snake (Snape) are paedophiles but also 'doing it' whilst Dobby the House Elf watches. I think I may need the brain bleach... :P

[hnpcc]

Opinion is divided on whether it's a spoof or not, but it's certainly funny either way.

Technically Loopin (*snerk*) and Snake (*more snerk*) aren't paedophiles as the characters involved are 17, just more creepy old men. Not as creepy as Dobby though!

At least that stayed true to the books, heh.

[davesangel.livejournal.com]

Hahaha :D

I think I'm going to send this link to every Harry Potter fan I know. Even if it is all made up, it's still totally hilarious.

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

I'm absolutely convinced it's a spoof, including all the so-called hacking bits. It's just too well set up and contrived... But it's a very GOOD spoof all the same.

[hnpcc]

I'm mostly convinced, but then I remember that godawful "fanfic" that kept popping up on the mailing list (and the newsgroup, I think) - the one where she was up to chapter 34 (last I looked) and no actual Red Dwarf characters had made an appearance yet. I kept thinking that had to be someone having a joke, but no...

Actually, given it's a trope, "Noooooooooo!"

[vestalvagrant.livejournal.com]

I hadn't heard of this! Thankyou!!

[dhole.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant.

[sand-l.livejournal.com]

Great spoof :) a good find, thanks for posting.